SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard the news that there's a car going the wrong way on interstate 77. Please be careful." "Hell," said Herman,
"It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!
****
Rabbit mobileHave a good day !
Izzabel R.
THE MEN'S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now Do what you want = You'll pay for this later We need to talk = I need to complain Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I've got my period Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper..... I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep Do you love me = I'm going to ask for something expensive How much do you love me = I did something today you're really not going to like I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV Is my butt fat = Tell me I'm beautiful You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me Are you listening to me! = [Too late, you're dead.] Yes = No No = No Maybe = No I'm sorry = You'll be sorry Do you like this recipe = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it Was that the baby = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep. I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook? I'm tired = I'm tired Nice dress! = Nice cleavage! You look tense, let me give you a massage. = I'd like to have sex with you What's wrong? = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it doesn't look that much different! Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys I like that one better (while shopping) = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
Ah l'amour !... 
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael. He's a doctor.'"
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher. She's dead."
